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11月30日 I Love MusicI was sitting at home last night taking a much needed break from finals (yup! It's that time again) and burning some songs for my car. I'm sure I spent over an hour trying to figure out what songs I wanted to put on the disc. Here's my dilemma. I Love music! I can't say all kinds of music, but most music and I am always open to new stuff. So, my computer is loaded with oldies, goodies, rock, metal, country, classical, new age, funk, punk, alternative...the list goes on. I kept asking myself what I would most want to listen to while I was driving to and from work.
I never really answered that question and finally ended up picking songs at random. The funny thing is they are all songs that I like to sing as loud as I can. Now, before you go running for the hills with your hands over your ears I have to tell you... I can sing. Unfortunately, that is the only thing I do well musically. I can't write music or lyrics. The last instrument I played was tenor sax in junior high.
At the risk of sounding pompous and arrogant, I am musically talented, and my only problem with these songs is that I don't know all the words. 11月13日 My SonThose of you who visit my space probably notice that when I talk about my son I never mention his name. Why is that, you may wonder? It started when he was barely a year old. He had golden blond hair and light green eyes. We were living briefly in El Paso, TX at the time and happened to be walking around the mall one day. A woman walked up to us and said "If I were you, I wouldn't let that boy out of your sight. These Mexicans here like light haired, light eyed children and they would snatch him up if given half a chance." Scared the daylights out of me.
Since then, I have been very careful, you could say anul, about who knows his name. I guess I am being overly protective. Who wouldn't be with the media constantly reminding us of internet predators and the dangers of sights like this? Although, this seems to be the safest blog sight I have found, by far.
He will tell you I am insane and that he is the only 14 year old he knows who doesn't have a spot at myspace. Boo-effin'-hoo! We don't have internet at home, but my neighbor offers to let us use his computer, so my son isn't totally deprived of his internet fix. His favorite site to visit when he is able to get on is "Zwinky". It is a chat sight that is supposedly monitered and safe for kids. If they moniter the site, they don't do a very good job of it. I have seen, from time to time, people throwing the "F" bomb around with wreckless abandon.
Am I checking on him? You better believe it! I am sad to say that he is becoming more and more like his father every day and hasn't been the most trustworthy person since he entered those golden years of teenagerdom. Is it possible to behave like someone you have never met? I don't know what to do. I hate the fact that I don't trust him, but he doesn't seem to care what I say. He can do what he wants and is old enough to take care of himself (his words, not mine.)
I don't want him to think I don't love him because I do with all my heart. But I can't trust him when I have caught him in so many lies. Lately, he has been deliberately missing the bus so he doesn't have to go to school. I leave the house at 5:30 in the morning and up until now have trusted that he has been getting himself up and off to school. We'll see just how many days he has missed. I am getting off work early today and the first place I am going is to the school. I need to get to the bottom of this for my own sanity.Then, I will talk to his counselor about it and see if there is anything that she can suggest.
Oh and let's not forget the fact that he lost his glasses and I don't have the money to take him to the eye doctor. Since we haven't yet established medical, vision or dental care here and I don't have insurance, I wouldn't even know where to take him. There is no way I could afford an exam and a new pair of glasses for him. I don't know what to do about that either.
So, now you know why his name is never mentioned as well as a few more disturbing facts about him. If you have any suggestions, I welcome them. For the most part this was just a boy rant and there are likely to be more if things don't change soon. 11月12日 ClarificationI just wanted to clarify something for one of my new friends here at Spaces. And after this, she may not want to be my friend anymore. I hope that is not the case, but I will understand if it is.
I am pagan and have been for about 10 years. I perfer the term Witch, but for the faint of heart Wiccan will do. Please understand that although I myself do not follow any organized religion, I have nothing against those who do. For the most part Christians (and I am including all denominations) are decent, friendly people. The only time I have issues with individuals who practice such religions is when I am attacked for my beliefs (or ambushed in the parking lot by overzealous missionaries, but that is another story).
I do not seek to convert people to paganism. That isn't my style. People should be free to choose who and what they believe in. When I blog about my beliefs, I do so as a way of letting people know what I believe and not as a way of prosyletizing any of the belief systems that paganism encompasses.
The bands we went to see on the 3rd are anything but Christian. The name HIM is an acronym for His Infernal Majesty. That doesn't mean that they worship the devil, but is just a play on words. Hey, whatever sells CD's, right? To be honest with you, I'm a metalhead born and bred. I don't listen to Christian artists, but there is one song that can move me to tears if it is sang correctly. That's Amazing Grace. 11月6日 Fear of SuccessMy friends, Rikk, posted a blog on his page asking readers what they would want if they could have anything. I replied the self confidence to follow my dream. Let me explain since I don't know if any of you will actually get over to his space to read my comment.
Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to be involved in the music industry. Then, my only goal in life was to be a frontwoman for a band. Now, I think it would be awesome to be a manager for bands. I think my days of fronting my own band are limited as I pass the mid-30 mark.
So, why didn't I do that before? And why don't I do that now? It comes down to this. A fear of success. It couldn't be a fear of failure. I have failed enough to know what that feels like. But I think to myself; what if I were to succeed and actuallly acheive something I have been dreaming about all my life? How would my life change? Would I be able to handle the responsibility that success brings?
I have been stuck in the same situation for so long. I think it has become my comfort zone, my crutch, my excuse. To step away from that would mean that I may actually have to be more responsible, and take care of business. I couldn't be lazy anymore and I let my life be dictated by what other people think I should be doing. I would be working for myself, something nearly every human wishes they could do. Gee, whatever would I do if I could set my own hours and spend time with my son and do things I actually wanted to do?
I may have posted something along this line a long time ago, but Rikk got me thinking about it again, so I thought I would revisit the thought. Not only that, but it is something that has been on my mind since I am looking ahead 33 weeks to graduation and wondering if I made the right decision or if it was a spur-of-the-moment, desperation, need-to-do-something-to-get-myself-out-of-the-hole-I'm-in decision. How can you tell when you have made the wrong decision? Is it when you think the classes are boring as hell?
As a pharmacy tech, the money is good. Not great, just good. And it is a for sure career path where I know there will always be a need for my skills. And if I decide I like it, I can go to school another 4 years and become a Pharmacist making nearly $100 grand a year. Oh, well. I guess we shall see once I finish the course work and get into the externship. Right? 11月4日 Obsession RevisitedThe concert was awesome last night!!! The opening act was a band out of Orange County, CA called Bleeding Through. The interesting thing about that is they play music on the total opposite end of the spectrum from HIM. Where HIM is more Gothic style "love metal", Bleeding Through is hardcore, in-your-face, speed-type metal. The drums are hard and fast and the guitar riffs are freakish. All in all, not bad. It took a while for me to get into it, but then again I was there to see HIM and I could have cared less who opened for them.
Seeing HIM (which stands for His Infernal Majesty) brought back a shameless obsession I have for their lead singer, Ville Valo. This man is 6'4" tall, skinny as a rail (not necessarily his most attractive feature) and stunningly sexy. He has amazing bright green eyes and a smile that makes women swoon. He's got a smoking, sensual voice (love his Finnish accent!!!) and I would love to listen to him laugh all night if I could.
Okay, that's enough of that. I'm sure you all care about how much of a childish, little git some guys can make me. This one especially.
The best thing about this concert and what sets it apart from the performace they put on last year was the fact that they played songs from all of their albums and didn't focus on the new one too much. I really like the new stuff they have out. It is heavier than previous efforts. I have put it on my "to buy" list.
Speaking of new albums out that are worth a listen to...Avenged Sevenfold released a new album on the 30th. It has some killer songs on it. My favorite are the first three; Critical Acclaim, Almost Easy and Scream. Seether's new album is also really good. Like a Suicide is by far my favorite song on that album.
So, there you have it folks. My shameless review of the show, or more precisely the man behind the mic. Also a plug for two other bands I think you should check out. Hope you all have a great week. I will check in on your spaces tomorrow to see what's new. Right now, I am off to work on a couple of Powerpoint presentations for school. TTFN 11月2日 Ear Plugs Reccommended but Not RequiredThe tickets are bought, the clothes picked out, and "the boy" is beside himself with excitement. Ya know what's funny? The band I am taking him to see for his birthday played on my birthday last year!! I thought about that as I was buying the tickets last night. How their timing has been perfect for both of us.
Rock on, Ya'll!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!!
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