I am one of those people who is never satisfied. I know there is more to life than living paycheck to paycheck. I was thinking recently about things I have wanted to do in my life. As a little girl, all I ever wanted to do was be a singer in a band. I had other smaller aspirations like teaching, being a journalist, or driving race cars. All of these things and more I know I could do if I would just do them. I thought my biggest fear, like everyone else, was a fear of failure. I didn't want to fail at something, so I never tried. Well, the light bulb in my head clicked on and I discovered that it isn't that I am afraid to fail. I fail all the time. Failure is a very good friend of mine. That is why I am living paycheck to paycheck. I'm afraid to SUCCEED!!! I know I can succeed, but for some reason I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what my life would be if success were mine. Why? That is a mystery. I have been living this life for so long I can only imagine what it would be like to actually succeed and do what I want to do. Something else occurred to me while I was pondering my choices. Would my son view challenges and opportunities differently if I had looked at them differently? If I accepted the opportunities and stared down the challenges, would he be likely to do the same? I always tell him that he can be anything he wants to be, but does he believe me since I am not living by this statement? If I was truly living this statement, I would be making a living as a singer for some band instead of booking reservations for rude people. How different life would be if each and every one of us just did what we know in our hearts we can do.

I rented An Inconvenient Truth: A Global Warning. I strongly recommend that everybody watch it. I will admit, I was one of those sceptics Former VP Al Gore talks about. The ones who said that global warming is a cyclical phenomenon. But VP Gore presents stacks of evidence showing that the effects of our dependence on fossil fuels has a far greater impact than what happens in a normal warming cycle. There are two contributing factors associated with global warming. First, burning fossil fuels releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. This has the effect of thickening the thin layer of atmosphere surrounding our planet. With the thicker atmosphere, less of the radiation from the sun can escape which causes the planet to heat up. You are probably thinking that plants convert CO2 into oxygen, and you would be right. However, our lovely neighbors in South America are clear cutting the forests there and destroying those wonderful CO2 convertors. Cities world wide are growing. Those cities are burning more fossil fuels and leveling more and more forest land. VP Gore and a team of scientists predict that if the current warming trend continues, in the next 40 years, places like Greenland will no longer exist and Antarctica will be significantly smaller. If Greenland melts completely away as they are predicting, sea levels will rise 20 feet. Say goodbye to millions of acres of coastal land and hello to higher concentrations of people living inland. Global Warming is real and we are seeing the effects of it everywhere. Scientists have also predicted that with the rising temperatures, especially ocean temps, that storms will get bigger and more destuctive. This means that Catagory 5 hurricanes like Katrina will be small potatoes compared to what is to come. This movie brings the phenomenom of global warming up close and personal. As a race, human beings are greedy and destructive; always looking for bigger and better, no matter what the effect is on the environment. Take the Hummer, for instance. It's big. It's flashy. And it guzzles gas in much the same way that my redneck neighbors guzzle beer. People around here justify the purchase of these big hulking road hogs by saying that they perform better on the snow. To this I must say BULLSHIT!!! It all depends on who is driving and how conscious they are about their surroundings including the condition of the road they are driving on. Just because a vehicle has 4 wheel drive doesn't mean the driver won't end up kissing a tree if they are going too fast for conditions. Our struggle to keep up with the Jones' has put an incredible strain on our Mother Earth. It is going to take cooperation from everyone, but this can be fixed. First things first, we need to get rid of our illustrious potentate, "The Shurb", who thinks it was a great idea to relax environmental policies to increase oil production. Then, we need to finalize research on renewable sources of energy and implement strong policies regarding their use. Every city needs to have a recycling program. Not just bigger, more populated cities. Smaller more rural areas could also benefit from recycling. The clean air and clean water acts need to be enforced and tougher penalties need to be imposed on those companies who violate these acts. Fuel efficiency requirements need to be increased. Sorry, all of you SUV owners, but with higher efficiency requirements, your gas guzzlers would no longer qualify as a tax deduction. And finally, people need to be given incentives for using public transportation and car pooling. One such incentive could be lower gas prices for car poolers with the presentation of a special rewards card. These are just a few suggestions. I will admit that I got some of these from the movie. WATCH IT!!! The education you receive could change the world.

The weather says to expect rain and a mix of rain and snow for the next three days. Then on Saturday, it's supposed to snow. I saw a place on my way home from work the other day that is offering a 90 days same as cash for snow tires. Actually, I've seen for about a week or more. I have just hesitated because I hate doing that type of credit thing, but maybe this is a sign. I know I need tires like yesterday and I have asked the Gods for a bit of divine intervention or inspiration. Maybe seeing that sign was the intervention I needed. Since I don't have anyplace to be right away after work, I am going to stop in and check it out. If I do get the tires, I don't plan on waiting the entire 90 days to pay for them. I'm thinking more like my second pay check in January. That way the holidays will be over and I will have the extra money for them, but I don't think I dare wait until then to actually have them put on my car. Speaking of tires...The tire around my middle is slightly smaller. I am down 5 lbs and have another 5 to go to meet my goal of 10 lost by Christmas. Of course, that is only 10% of the weight I want to lose. I have a long way to go. I don't expect it all to come off at once; even though it seems like that was how fast I gained it. I was looking at pictures of me when I moved back from Florida. It seems like over night I ballooned to the size I am today. What inspires me to want to lose weight after being so large for so long? My struggle began when I was little. I was always bigger than all of my cousins (of course, I was the oldest, but that was never taken into consideraton) and my family was constantly on me to lose weight. Great for my self-esteem, I'm telling you. When I lived in Florida, I was smaller than I was in high school, but I also didn't eat all day and since I didn't own a car, I had to walk everywhere. I tried Weight Watchers and lost about 35 lbs. but quit going because I couldn't afford the weekly fee. I gained maybe 15 of those pounds back. Now, I am on the wagon again. My favorite magazine is "Looking Good Now!!!" I am inspired by the stories from real life people who have been where I am. I want to be a success story in the magazine. Then, my story can hopefully inspire others.

I can now be considered a Utah resident. I went to DMV on Monday and got the plates on my car changed over from Wyoming. I now feel like I belong here. What surprised me was how much it cost and how fast it was!! Wyoming sent me a renewal notification and I just about choked. $320.00!!!! Just to renew my tags!!!! Then, there was the time factor. Nearly everyone I spoke with told to expect to sit all day and wait. So, when I trotted my happy ass down there to get everything switched over expecting the worst. Five minutes later, I walked out with my new plates and and extra 127.00 in my pocket. My tags only cost $193.00!!! Why so much less here? I don't know, but hey!!! I'm not going to complain. The other thing that surprised me was my insurance. I had that switched over from Wyoming as well on Monday. I expected to be paying more for insurance here. A lot more actually. I think if anything my insurance may be $5.00 more here than it was in Wyoming. More good news. I'm pretty sure I can afford that. My son's holiday concert was last night. He sang his little heart out. It was wonderful. Some of the kids did solos at the beginning of the concert, so when my son was finished I asked him why he didn't do one. He didn't want to. Oh well, no biggie. He still sang and it was great!!! Well, gotta go. We're really busy today and I have tons to do. Brightest Blessing this holiday season

I am so excited I could pee!!!! My mom called last night. My sister is pregnant with her second baby, so I'm going to be an auntie again!!!!! I'm soooooo excited!!!! Then, this morning I come into work. The first call I get is from Tony Romo. Now, for those of you who don't know...Tony Romo is the QB for the Dallas Cowboys. I didn't even know until we got to talking and one of my co-workers about had an anbulisim because he was so jealous. He was very down to earth and pleasant to talk to. Now, mind you, I am not a big football fan, but it is still nice to be able to talk to people like Tony; especially if they aren't on an ego trip and think they are the shit just because they are in an envious position. I have had a great day today!!! I am at a point where I will do nearly anything to continue the streak of good luck I am experiencing. In fact, I'm feeling charitable this year and the sidewalk Santas are loving me. One of the maintenence workers for my apartment complex was in a horrible car accident in August. He suffered some serious injuries and his wife spent three months in a coma. She sustained pretty serious head trama and he is taking care of their kids, so he's unable to work for the time being. The ladies at the front office have asked for donations to help this family have Christmas this year. I have decided that giving this family a great Christmas is something I can definitely do, so I am donating $50.00 to their Christmas fund. Mind you, I do have alterior motives. By making a donation I am entered in a drawing to have $200.00 cut off my January rent. If I win, that will be great; it isn't necessary and I am glad to give what I can.